Forget About Expenses, What Are MP's Hiding in Their Cellars?

 Forget About Expenses, What Are MP's Hiding in Their Cellars?

As the Daily Telegraph continues to expose the creative expense claim strategies of Britain’s p*ss poor elected officials, the story of the governments £800k wine stash seems to have sadly disappeared into the news void.

I for one have limited interest in whether motorbike-loving MP Hazel “Bright Eyes” Blears makes a bit of dosh on selling her second home, but I do have a problem with the Foreign Office hoarding 39,500 bottles of wine under Whitehall.

The situation came to light after Liberal Democrat MP Don Foster confronted the government on the matter in parliament and then accusing them of “living beyond their means”. Foreign Office minister Gillian Merron confirmed that the value of the wine, spirits and liqueurs stands at around £792,000.

Mr Foster then undid all his good work with the following patently ridiculous statement “Rather than wasting public money on expensive bottles of wine, it could be used to help get Britain out of its economic problems.” Silly man.

Another silly man (Mark Wallace of right wing fruitcakes “The Taxpayers Alliance”) also missed the point with this piece of drivel:

“It’s staggering that the Government has run up such a huge wine cellar at the taxpayers’ expense. Given the tough economic conditions, they should commit to spend nothing on it this year and start using up some of the stock instead.”

Both men seem to have missed the point. Surely the question here is “What are the wines and how can we claim our own personal share of them?”

I for one table a motion that the Foreign Office throws a massive street party in Parliament Square which everyone can attend. As long as they can prove they don’t drink Blossom Hill or Black Tower.

Anyone else got any ideas?

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