Depending on how you roll, you may find the following an insightful study of the human condition or just another example of a media organisation falling for some hokey PR promoting a commercial pub franchise.
It turns out that a consultant psychologist was commissioned by the Walkabout bars to observe the body language of 500 drinkers in order to classify them into personality types.
Eight personality types were identified. These were: the flirt, the gossip, fun lover, wallflower, the ice-queen, the playboy, Jack-the-lad and browbeater.
So, which one are you?
Here’s my own inimitable take on this nonsense (to read the BBC’s version take a look here) -
You hold your glass daintily but aren’t afraid to use it provocatively, maybe positioned over your cleavage to focus your prey on your comely assets. Not adverse to “teasing” the rim of your glass with your finger you may even (depending on how much you’ve drunk) dip said finger in your drink and suck it dry.
If this is you, you aren’t really a flirt, you are more likely to be a whore.
You a woman who clusters together with your friends, mostly to talk critically about other people. You hold your wine glass firmly by the bowl (didnt’ you go to finishing school?), to use as a gesticulating weapon of gossiptry.
You lean over your drink towards your close knit social circle (coven) in order to speak conspiratorially.
In other words you’re two faced and still exist in the playground.
The Fun Lover
Like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins, you love to laugh, you sociable and convivial little furball.
It’s all about bottled drinks and small sips, a strategic option so that you can butt into conversations with jokes only you and your mother find funny.
You hold the bottle loosely at its shoulder for ease.
You are a shy, submissive person. You hold your glass protectively because you know that everyone is out to get you.
Your glass is your social crutch. Christ, you may even drink through a straw so that you can spend the evening fidgeting with the bendy bit. You make your drink last the whole bloody evening for fear of having to go to the bar yourself and actually talk to someone.
The Ice Queen
You drink from a wine glass, held firmly in a barrier position across the body so as to deter intimate approaches. Your style is cold and defensive
It’s a waste of time approaching you, which makes me wonder what the hell are you doing in the Walkabout? This is the destination for ape-men and knicker-droppers.
What are you hiding, Ice Queen?
Firstly your ego has problems fitting into anything smaller than a large planet. You’d consider yourself a modern day “Don Juan” except you think that Don Juan plays left back for Chelsea.
Your lack subtlety (class) and consider your bottle to be a phallic prop, playing with it suggestively. You can be quite tactile – lets face it, you’re a letch and thoroughly unlikeable.
The Jack The Lad
You’re conscious of your casual image and will drink a bottled beer, or cider. Wine is for “poofs”
You’re arrogant, and territorial in your gestures, spreading yourself (and your beer gut) over as much space as possible.
You’re loyal to your mates as long as they are sycophants (look it up).
You are an utter tosser. You prefer large glasses or bottles that allow you to gesticulate in the most threatening manner possible.
You are a “know-it-all” who knows nothing. You target your jokes at other people and react badly at any aimed at you. You are to be approached with great care, or not at all.
Here’s what the expert says:
“The simple act of holding a drink displays a lot more about us than we realise – or might want to divulge… to a large extent, it’s an unconscious thing and just reflects the person you are and the type of social relationships you have.”
So, with that contradictory summation, lets raise a glass to PR!