CAMRA declare war on wine and disappear up their own tankards

The chairman of Camra pulls some birds

In yet another example of agenda driven research, the Campaign for Real Ale (CAMRA) and the Beer Academy have joined forces to hit the world of wine in the face.

The research shows that 34% of men and 29% of women incorrectly believe that beer has more calories than wine when in fact a half pint of beer contains 1.1 units of alcohol and 85 calories while a medium-sized glass of red wine contains 2.1 units and 131 calories.

Clearly the wader-waring swamphunters of CAMRA are keen to hit back at perceived  public perception that beer gives you a belly while wine gives you civility.

You have to take a pretty long bloody hop skip and jump to swallow the following proclamation from the absurd press release that CAMRA released on the subject this week. Here’s brewing expert Professor Charlie Bamforth:

“Beer also contains no fat or cholesterol and very few sugars. So for someone looking to lose weight, swapping their glass of wine for a beer every day would not only reduce their weekly alcohol intake by seven units – but also cut out more calories than are burned off during a typical 30-minute jog.”

Oh my. Is this mad professor really saying that if we swap wine for beer we needn’t bother going to the gym?

To CAMRA and the Beer Academy we simply say this. All alcoholic drinks contain a psychoactive drug called alcohol. We know that if we drink too much it will damage our mind, body and bank balance. If you want to lose weight don’t swap one drink for another, just stop drinking altogether.

And to our readers we say this. Never, ever attend an official CAMRA event and proclaim that you prefer wine. You’ll end up being burnt alive in a straw man on a remote Scottish island.