Professor Richard Wiseman, author of Quirkology and other popular science books that expose the frailities of human perception, has lead a study to show wine drinkers can’t distinguish cheap wine from expensive.

The experiment, at the Edinburgh Science Festival, challenged 578 members of the public to distinguish between the good stuff and £5 bottles for both red and white.

The subjects got it right 50% of the time – in other words, they only picked the quality wine randomly, and not through taste.

The learned Professor advises that, in these hard pressed times, wine drinkers should heed the results and go for the plonk.

WineOfTheWeek is aghast at such claims of label snobbery, and will bet his Tommy Hilfiger jeans that contradictory evidence will soon follow.

The average drinker may find a glass of vino relaxing and finds that it slows things down to a mellow pace, but this isn’t the case for your average bit of superconducting material.

Scientists experimenting with immersing superconductors in liquids to see how this affects their superconductivity started their trials with water and ethanol and then compared this with a water/ethanol mix.

So far, so scientific.

Then physicist Yoshihiko Takano wondered how different alcohols would affect the superconductivity of the material.

The reasoning behind it? “I thought of it because I like alcohol very much,” Takano said.

Wine of the Week readers will be pleased to hear that the best performing alcohol was red wine, which boosted the conductivity by 62%, with white wine coming in second at around 48%. Beers, spirits and Japanese beverages trailed sadly behind.

Every now and then a report comes out highlighting that alcohol is a) a drug, and b) quite a powerful one.

Professor David Nutt, formerly the drug advisor to the Labour government who was sacked for his unpalatable views, has reiterated his stance that alcohol and tobacco are more dangerous than LSD and ecstasy. And this time he’s backed it up with a table as well.

Yup, alcohol is sitting proudly at the very top, just above heroin and crack.

The result is a combination based on two subtotals – “harm to society” and “harm to the individual”, which were measured using 16 criteria between them.

David Nutt valiantly tries to explain the data to Bill Turnbull and Sian Williams on this morning’s BBC Breakfast provoking Sian’s rather puzzled response, “so heroin’s not dangerous?” leaving poor old Prof Nutt having to point out that he’s not suggesting everyone run out and start jacking up rather than drinking.

As Professor Nutt explains, alcohol holds it’s coveted position partly because its use is the most widespread of any drug and so it’s bound to have more effect on society than any other. And, as with all drugs, it can harm the user when overdone.

So it’s probably not time to swap your Merlot for Magic Mushrooms quite yet.

And we are very sure that no subscribers to Wine of the Week can remember the last time that they drunk irresponsibly. Or at least they can’t remember the getting home part of it, anyway.

MILF or Merlot?

Us Brits used to enjoy the superiority we felt while watching American politics from afar.

The religious fundamentalism, the assertions of manifest destiny, the  illicitly stained dresses of interns and mistresses, the militias in the woods shooting defenceless squirrels, the obscene level of corporate influence, the willing delusion to see America as a peaceful nation – all topped off with the American public falling for the promise of “change” every 4 years from whoever was next in line.

And then Britain elected Tony Blair and our superiority was replaced by a realisation that we had become what we had mocked. Ouch.

And so, when it was recently announced that Sarah Palin will speak at this years Wine & Spirits Wholesalers of America (WSWA) convention in Las Vegas I choked on my wine-gums. What if the UK follows the WSWA example and asks Nick Griffin to become keynote speaker at this years London International Wine Fair?

In explaning his choice of Palin as the keynote, the WSWA president (Craig Wolf) said, “Governor Palin is a great supporter of America’s free enterprise system and understands that industries like the beverage alcohol industry play a key role in driving our national economy”.

The irony of this statement is not lost on the readers of Decanter Magazine with this particular contribution summing the situation up nicely,

“Anybody familiar with our 50 state tangle of restrictions on alcohol beverage sales knows that the system is hardly ‘free enterprise,’ and that in many cases the restrictions serve the wholesale tier of the industry quite handily. The WSWA has been very skillful at protecting its interests at both state and federal levels for years, and much of this effort has been devoted to measures that effectively block anything resembling free enterprise”

Although the content of Palin’s speech is not yet known, Mr Wolf gave us this frightening insight , ’We expect she will share with the convention attendees her analysis of the current political environment and her vision for America’s future.’  Why is the WSWA providing a prospective presidential candidate a soapbox in this way? Has Mr Wolf succumbed to a schoolboy crush?

In the 1980′s p*ss poor drummer Phil Collins famously said that he would leave England if Labour came to power*.

If Palin wins the presidential race in 2013, I will leave the universe.

* n 2005 Mr Collins said he may return to Britain if the Tories regain power. Please remember this when you come to vote later this year.

See also: Sarah Palin Guilty – It’s Just Not Hockey Mum

And so it comes to pass. First Quench, the owner of Threshers and Wine Rack, have announced that they are to go into administration.

The news comes as no surprise to those of us who have watched the retail giant lumbering along a path towards irrelevance over the past few years. And yet for those thousands of employees who work across the group’s 1300 outlets the news will no doubt cause a great deal of anxiety.

Perhaps predictably, First Quench released a statement on Wednesday saying that “it is no secret that the credit crunch has made a very competitive marketplace even more challenging.” But First Quench’s problems run much deeper than any fissures created by the financial crisis and it would be disingenuous of them to suggest otherwise.

The company’s financial results throughout this decade have been poor, its management teams have come and gone too regularly and its ownership has changed hands too often. No, this is a story of the proverbial oil tanker – the Woolworths of the wine world.

Quite simply, they have run out of ideas. The stores are generally small, poorly presented and offer a limited range of unimaginative wines. The supermarkets offer the same wines at cheaper prices and in recent years their only weapon has been the “bargain booze” option of unprofitable and unsustainable 40% off deals.

But Supermarkets don’t just win on price alone, they win because they recognise the significance of data in the role of marketing products to consumers. First Quench never understood this. They have little concept of lifetime value, loyalty and targeted marketing. I’m sad to say that the company is a paid up member of those bricks and mortar retailers who have been left behind by the digital age.

First Quench must take some stick on the mismanagement of their customer strategy and their failure to turn massive footfall into marketable data.

I have my own association with Threshers. Two winter ago I was employed as a consultant to sense check their business plan for a proposed eCommerce operation.

I found the Business Development team to be bright, energetic,  driven and eager to take the jump into the unknown but I also sensed a senior management team for whom the digital revolution was something that “other people” participated in. My involvement was a brief one  and the eCommerce operation never materialised.

The UK wine world doesn’t need to see another casualty on the high street but conversely the wine customer has been poorly served by Thresher and Wine Rack. If the supermarkets pick up the lions share of the group’s £800m turnover then life for the UK wine drinker will be all the poorer for it.

So that leaves us with Oddbins and Nicolas on the high street. Good luck to them both.

It’s not often that WineOfTheWeek copies and pastes articles from the press but this piece in the Guardian is so well put that, ladies and gentlemen, I present below a damning indictment of our once proud nation.

Personally I hope this trend of Supermarket madness continues and that consumers seek out alternative, independent retail outlets to source their wine:

Management consultant Jackie Slater thought she was completing a normal shopping trip to Morrisons until the checkout assistant demanded to see her ID before scanning two bottles of wine.

“I told her I was really flattered, but I was the wrong side of 50,” she said. But the assistant pointed to her 17-year-old daughter, Emily, and her 18-year-old niece, Annice, who were standing at the end of the checkout chatting.

“She asked: ‘Are they with you?’ I said they’d come to help me carry the bags back to the car. The assistant said: ‘You could be buying the wine for them. It’s the policy – I have to see everyone’s ID to make sure they are all over 18′.”

In vain, Mrs Slater insisted that the wine was for herself and her husband, Peter. But the assistant and then the store manager refused to budge.

Nor was their decision deemed an over-enthusiastic interpretation of company rules. Morrisons’ head office last week backed the store – a move that suggests new guidelines, introduced to limit access to alcohol among youngsters, could soon cause chaos if other shops follow Morrisons’ lead.

“Under current licensing laws, stores are unable to sell an alcoholic product to a customer they believe could be buying for a minor or for someone who is unable to prove their age,” said a spokesman for Morrisons, citing the Think 25 scheme that has been put in place by major retailers to prevent the sale of prohibited items to under-age shoppers.

Morrisons does not contest Mrs Slater’s version of events. The assistant even agreed that she would have sold the wine to a mother who had younger children with her because “no one would buy wine for a 12-year-old”. However she still refused to scan the wine without seeing Mrs Slater’s daughter’s ID – which she did not have with her.

“I was embarrassed, there was a huge queue building up and my daughter found it all excruciating,” said Mrs Slater, who describes the incident as “the silliest bit of jobsworth nonsense” she had ever come across.

“It comes to something when a mother can’t take her daughter shopping without being made to feel like a criminal.”

Last week Asda had to apologise to Gill Power who was told that her 14-year-old son was not allowed to help her carry shopping bags containing a bottle of wine. Mrs Power was told by the cashier: “Sorry he isn’t allowed to take it because he is under age.”

Asda later said its staff had been “overly cautious”.

Morrisons is unrepentant about its Leeds store’s decision. “We take our responsibility with regard to selling alcohol very seriously.” said the spokesman. “The rules are in place to protect our customers and their families, as well as local communities who, in the majority of cases, appreciate our vigilance in the sale of age-restricted products.”

Mrs Slater’s MP, Greg Mulholland, a health spokesman for the Liberal Democrats, said: “Whoever thinks this policy will do anything to stop antisocial drinking by kids is in cloud-cuckoo-land.

“This is simply absurd and Morrisons should be ashamed of themselves.

“We need a more mature and sensible approach to alcohol in general – and refusing a mum a bottle of wine with the weekly shop because she has her 17-year-old daughter with her is ridiculous. Morrisons need to think again and this time do so with just a little common sense.”

“You’ll need half a bottle to go into the dish itself and half a bottle to go into yourself”.

Bacchus bless you Sir Keith of Floyd.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evm30HTbD0&feature=player_embedded]

There’s nothing I like more than strolling through a vineyard in my birthday suit in support of worthy causes and that’s exactly what hundreds of our French cousins did at the beginning of this month, answering the clarion call of photographer Spencer Tunick who wanted to illustrate the threat of global warming through art.

Tunick was there supporting Greenpeace and the wider message of climate change was illustrated by a specific focus on the vulnerability of wines and agriculture in France.

The brief clip below shows Tunick delivering his message and you can find more about his naked adventures at the Greenpeace site.

Over the last six months there have been as many news stories extolling the health benefits of wine as there have been warning against the dangers of vinous indulgence. It seems that wine will make you live longer at the same time that its sending you to an early grave.

It surely will only be a matter of time before the Daily Mail announces that a glass of Syrah a day will keep the Swine Flu at bay…

It’s a case of “you pays your money, you takes your choice” as far as the relative health benefits of the vine are concerned. Or rather, “you pays your research company, and you pick whatever politically motivated stance that suits” as far as the lobbyist industry is concerned.

A cynical view? Probably not. Next time there is a budget round, look out for a government report highlighting the effect of alcohol consumption on the health service and then watch as duties are raised by the chancellor. This year it was an attack on the middle class (and middle aged) wine drinkers that provided the news headlines, quickly followed by the inevitable tax increase. Let’s ignore the silent majority of responsible drinkers and swell the coffers anyway.

Indeed, there is a war of attrition being conducted by vested political, moral and industry interests all of whom deploy the forces of PR and research as their weapons of choice. Tis a dirty job…

One of the enduring criticisms of news journalism is the willingness of many practitioners to publish PR puff without checking the motivations/credentials of the puffer. Couple that with the fact that Universities receive a significant amount of research funding from commercial and industrial interests and you can see that something may be rotten in the state of Denmark when it comes to health reporting. Press, PR and Research Grants – an unholy trinity if ever there was one.

So here’s where I need your help. It’s time we looked under the bonnet of the often contradictory stories in the news media and established any links that may exist to politically motivated research funding. If anyone out there can provide insight, documentation, phone numbers or secret handshakes that will help us unlock the secrets of puffery then I’d love to hear from you.

And for those of you who are either looking to give up on the booze or are searching for a reason to continue, here’s a list that should give you the justification you require, whichever path you tread:

“I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour…”

Drinking wine may help protect against skin damage by radiation therapy – The Food Consumer 15/08/2009

Red wine may be helpful in fighting off several diseases and conditions, including high cholesterol, heart disease, various cancers and even aging – Newsday – August 14, 2009

Women who drink red wine enjoy better sex lives – telegraph.co.uk 07 08 09

An antioxidant found in red wine could treat life-threatening inflammations like appendicitis -  Decanter Magazine 11th August

Wine may help men outlive teetotallers - The Guardian 30/04/09

Wine boosts cancer survival rates – The Scotsman 22/04/09

Wine May Protect Against Throat Cancer – Wine Spectator 02/03/09

Wine Slows Mental Decline – Saga

Red Wine Reduces the risk of prostrate cancer –  Harvard University Review

Wine may protect men against impotence - Decanter 28/01/09

“But heaven knows I’m miserable now…”

Red wine “good for you” Scandal – The Examiner 31/07/09

Daily Drink raises cancer risk in women – Decanter 25/02/09

Millions of middle-class drinkers putting health at risk with evening tipple – 22/01/09

Wine Won’t Cut Breast Cancer Risk – 17/08/09

Drinking White wine may stain your teeth – CNN 03/04/09

Average wine drinker puts on half a stone of fat a year – telegraph.co.uk  18/04/09

Wine is worst for brain cells than beer, scientists reveal, in a blow for women drinkers – Daily Mail 17/03/09

Back in 2006, Jean-Manuel Spriet, the then chief executive of Pernod Ricard UK, sent shockwaves through the wine trade by admitting that many of the “half price” wine deals in supermarkets were actually a rip-off.

The fact that a leading player in the wine business had admitted that consumers were being conned caused many a raised eyebrow.

In effect, Spiret was saying that many of the “half price” deals that you’ll find in your local supermarket/ discount retailer are not in fact deals at all. Put simply,  a bottle reduced from £7.99 to £3.99 is often worth only £3.99 in the first place.

Retailers use a policy called “marking up, only to mark down” where they put a product on sale at a high price in a select number of regional outlets for a long enough time to ensure they can legally claim the product was being sold at that price before then offering it nationwide at a lower ” was/now” price. The customer will then beleive he is getting a quality wine for a bargain price. Confused? That’s the general idea.

The industry beleives that the “mass market” wine drinker is obsessed by the £3.99 price point and this affects the way that retailers are selling us wine and the way that some suppliers are now producing their wines.

In Spiret’s mind  ’Consumers know they are getting misled … they get used to it. At the end of the day, it just leads to the impoverishment of the wine trade”.

Spiret’s insight provides us with a depressingly cynical view of the way wine is both sold by the big retailers and supplied by the big wine brands.  More worryingly it gives us an insight into what the big retailers really view their customers to be,  namely lazy and ignorant.

In many ways Spiret was simply highlighting the types of marketing practices that are in play in many industries and it would be unfair to single out the wine trade as unique in using such tactics.

Given that supermarkets represent two thirds of wine sales in the UK, these practices also have a direct effect on the public perception of the value of wine.

If the regular wine drinker believes that he is getting £7.99 of value from a £3.99 bottle then it follows that it will be much harder for the independent wine retailer to sell something whose real value is (and always was) £7.99.

There is, of course, no end in sight to this type of price fraud – the subjectivity of a wine’s value leaves this particular sector open to all sorts of underhand practices.

However, if the political mood continues to be against discount selling for alcohol,  it will be interesting to see how the big retailers find a real price for wines they have knowingly mis-sold for the last 10 years.