Can it really taste as bad as it looks?

After the first successful detonation of the Atomic bomb, J. Robert Oppenheimer recalled Hindu Scripture with the declaration, ‘Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.’ I wonder if the manufacturers of Chocovine experienced similar emotions when they first blended chocolate and wine?

The sales pitch for Chocovine tells us all that we need to know:

Chocovine is a fine French Cabernet subtly combined with rich dark chocolate from Holland, paired together to create a decadent silky smooth drink.

Chocovine is blended in Holland by one of the oldest and respected cream manufacturers in the world. Chocolate and wine can be paired in such a way that features the best and most interesting aspect of each flavour profile.

The right chocolate paired with the perfect wine can create a near orgasmic taste experience… after years of research the perfect union of wine and chocolate is not only a reality but the outcome is a true match made in heaven.

Additionally not only is wine and chocolate a tantalising blend for its sensational taste, but research shows that they are both rich in antioxidants. Chocovine is gluten free.

Blimey. So not only is it made from ‘fine wine’, it’s also good for you, takes you to the point of sexual satisfaction, is the product of scientific research while also being a product of God himself.  That’s some drink.

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

I’ve just returned from the village shop carrying a bag of coal on my shoulder and a bottle of Shiraz under my arm. Shoreham is covered in snow. And it looks simply stunning.

Now that I’m home and the fire is starting to roar I really fancy some  ice cream. Cold and snow do that for me – just makes me want to eat tubs of the stuff. However, ice cream is almost impossible to match with wine and the Shiraz is now open. What to do?

Well, if I was living in New York or New Jersey then I’d now exactly what to do. I’d have a freezer full of these Wine Cellar Sorbets. There are six flavours: Sangria Rojo, Riesling, Champagne, Pino Noir, Rose, and Cabernet Sauvignon. Sangria Rojo and they contain about 5% alcohol content.

Alas, they are currently only available in the US.

Introducing the “blend your own wine” kit. It’s called Fusebox and I want one now.

According to the makers “You’ll learn how to turn a good wine into a great one and gain an appreciation for why blending is the highest art form in winemaking.”

What you get is 6 bottles of blending wine, one mystery wine, some pippettes, a graduated cylinder, some wine evaluation cards, tasting placemats, recipe cards and of course a corkscrew.Basically you use the recipe cards to determine the percentage of each mix and you get down to some serious pippette action.

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The idea is to recreate some of the worlds famous cabernet blends but I can’t help thinking that the fun here will be to mix your own magic. Just like having your own chemistry set when you were young (what was the purple powder that bubbled in the test tube?).

The concept is bought to you by Crushpad the pioneering custom wine makers from California. Alas, it doesn’t look like they do overseas delivery.