David. Let's talk wine. I can save you millions. No, billions.

We here at WineOfTheWeek wear our political allegiances on our sleeves. There is no hiding our full commitment to the first political party that will ban supermarkets from selling wine while simultaneously forcing Blossom Hill and Ernest & Gallo to remove the label ‘wine’ from all their products.

As a single interest group, getting a share of voice in the corridors of power has not been easy. So, imagine how encouraged we were to be listed by The Guardian as one of the Top Ten Election Tweets.

In an article written by the lovely Jemima Kiss (we haven’t actually met her but we are assuming she must be lovely) called ‘How the internet really affected the election’, WineOfTheWeek was recognised for the following tweet from the first leaders debate:

@WineOfTheWeek I think this would be a good time for Gordon to take his eye out. Just because he can and Cameron can’t

I think we can all agree that this was pure gold. Right out of the top drawer.

It could be argued that this tweet did nothing whatsoever to advance our vinous cause but you have to start somewhere. And we decided to start by making fun of a Scottish man with one eye.

Jemima we salute you for the recognition and we welcome you back after the birth of your child. Parenthood is the gift that keeps on giving, it’s utterly brilliant.

You can read the full article and see the rest of the Top 10 here.

It’s not often that WineOfTheWeek copies and pastes articles from the press but this piece in the Guardian is so well put that, ladies and gentlemen, I present below a damning indictment of our once proud nation.

Personally I hope this trend of Supermarket madness continues and that consumers seek out alternative, independent retail outlets to source their wine:

Management consultant Jackie Slater thought she was completing a normal shopping trip to Morrisons until the checkout assistant demanded to see her ID before scanning two bottles of wine.

“I told her I was really flattered, but I was the wrong side of 50,” she said. But the assistant pointed to her 17-year-old daughter, Emily, and her 18-year-old niece, Annice, who were standing at the end of the checkout chatting.

“She asked: ‘Are they with you?’ I said they’d come to help me carry the bags back to the car. The assistant said: ‘You could be buying the wine for them. It’s the policy – I have to see everyone’s ID to make sure they are all over 18′.”

In vain, Mrs Slater insisted that the wine was for herself and her husband, Peter. But the assistant and then the store manager refused to budge.

Nor was their decision deemed an over-enthusiastic interpretation of company rules. Morrisons’ head office last week backed the store – a move that suggests new guidelines, introduced to limit access to alcohol among youngsters, could soon cause chaos if other shops follow Morrisons’ lead.

“Under current licensing laws, stores are unable to sell an alcoholic product to a customer they believe could be buying for a minor or for someone who is unable to prove their age,” said a spokesman for Morrisons, citing the Think 25 scheme that has been put in place by major retailers to prevent the sale of prohibited items to under-age shoppers.

Morrisons does not contest Mrs Slater’s version of events. The assistant even agreed that she would have sold the wine to a mother who had younger children with her because “no one would buy wine for a 12-year-old”. However she still refused to scan the wine without seeing Mrs Slater’s daughter’s ID – which she did not have with her.

“I was embarrassed, there was a huge queue building up and my daughter found it all excruciating,” said Mrs Slater, who describes the incident as “the silliest bit of jobsworth nonsense” she had ever come across.

“It comes to something when a mother can’t take her daughter shopping without being made to feel like a criminal.”

Last week Asda had to apologise to Gill Power who was told that her 14-year-old son was not allowed to help her carry shopping bags containing a bottle of wine. Mrs Power was told by the cashier: “Sorry he isn’t allowed to take it because he is under age.”

Asda later said its staff had been “overly cautious”.

Morrisons is unrepentant about its Leeds store’s decision. “We take our responsibility with regard to selling alcohol very seriously.” said the spokesman. “The rules are in place to protect our customers and their families, as well as local communities who, in the majority of cases, appreciate our vigilance in the sale of age-restricted products.”

Mrs Slater’s MP, Greg Mulholland, a health spokesman for the Liberal Democrats, said: “Whoever thinks this policy will do anything to stop antisocial drinking by kids is in cloud-cuckoo-land.

“This is simply absurd and Morrisons should be ashamed of themselves.

“We need a more mature and sensible approach to alcohol in general – and refusing a mum a bottle of wine with the weekly shop because she has her 17-year-old daughter with her is ridiculous. Morrisons need to think again and this time do so with just a little common sense.”

Wine of the Week featured on broadcasting legend(s) Martin Kelner and Eduard LaPaglie’s P*iss Poor Podcast last week. If you haven’t yet heard this extraordinary slice of web based broadcasting then prepare yourself for an assault on common decency and a rich vein of gutter humour.  Great stuff!

I’m a follower of Martin Kelner firstly because of his unblemished record and secondly because he’s taken control of his own content on-line and  is doing something interesting with it. In recent weeks the show has featured Alan Titchmarsh Exploding, Britain’s Dirtiest Kebab Shop, Chris Rock on rappers and songs like “The Homecoming Queen’s Got a Gun”. It’s the kind of nonsense you’d struggle to get away with on commercial stations (for fear of alienating advertisers) whereas public sector broadcasters would run a mile (for fear of alienating the Daily Mail). Jonathan and Russel take note – rip up your BBC contracts and take control of your own content!

I’m not sure that it’s a sense of humour that you’ll need to find PPP funny (I know I do) rather than a slightly unhinged sense of perspective. Anyway here’s the clip featuring my dream and Martin’s response to “Vin de Merde” (warning, this excerpt does contain “language”):

[audio http://gavin1972.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/wotw-on-ppp134.mp3]

You can subscribe to the free 10 minute “Schnorrers” version of the Podcast or take a brave plunge and subscribe to the full assault on the senses with the paid for version. 

Also, Kelner (sans Edouard) can be found writing a weekly Screen Break column for the Guardian; can be heard irregularly on Fighting Talk and on a new show with Will Buckley on Five Live.