Nurse, what this man needs is a shot of Cheval Blanc 1990 125ml.

As reported in the Globe and Mail, this article kicks off with our favourite opening sentence of recent times. Here’s Wendy Leung’s piece concerning one hospitals attempt to make wine part of the hospital experience:

Would you care for a nice glass of riesling with your watery tapioca pudding? Or perhaps a splash of shiraz after surgery?

A hospital in Indiana is allowing patients to wash down their hospital food with a glass of wine, as long as they or their family members provide it, the Associated Press reports.

The unorthodox policy has raised some eyebrows within the health industry, but the Parkview Ortho Hospital in Fort Wayne maintains alcohol will only be allowed for those who have their doctors’ approval.

A Parkview Health spokesman told the media the measure wasn’t intended to attract patients to the facility. But according to the AP report, competition among hospitals has increased over the years to the point where some now offer perks like valet parking and steak dinners.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Parkview’s alcohol policy is popular among its patients who enjoy having wine with their meals. “You’d be amazed how many people do that,” William Berghoff, a doctor at the hospital, told AP.

Actually Mr Berghoff we’d be amazed if anyone didn’t. Good man.

My dog isn’t well. The wife and I took Samba for a second visit to the vet in three days and still no closer to a diagnosis. Blood tests have been taken and results are now in anticipation. We have one very sad little Ruby Cavalier King Charles Spaniel at our feet.

So, upon arriving home I was extremely cheered to find a Wine Society Box waiting outside the front door. Firstly, I was amazed that it hadn’t been pilfered by the local hoodies – maybe this could be an angle for the TWS Marketing team  “Rest assured, our Wines don’t appeal to thieving chavs”.  I guess that’s why TWS located their Warehouse in Stevenage. No worries.

And secondly, what great customer service from these guys.  The majority of the deliveries are made by their own Vans, so you just know that the wine will arrive on time and will be treated with the care it deserves. After Friday ‘s delivery notification email I knew it would be here today between 10.30am and 1pm – cos that’s what they told me.

It’s always a thrill opening a mixed case from a merchant, and The Wine Society adds a desired flourish with two sides of tasting notes to accompany the wines.

With this kind of service I wonder how many little boys and girls out there look like Wine Society drivers. Milkmen have nothing on these fellas.

I’m regulating the booze intake to 1 bottle a week at the moment (carrying a stone and half too much – no really) and will have some fun blogging my way through the following 12 peaches -

Whites -

D’Arenberg Footbolt Shiraz 2006

Christian Moueix Bordeaux 2005

The Society’s Chilean Chardonnay Casablanca

Gewurztraminer Tradition 2007 Cave de Turckheim

Levin Sauvignon Blanc Vin de Pays du Jardin de la France 2006

The Ned Waihopai River Sauvignon Blanc 2008

Reds

Winemakers Lot No 77T Rapel Merlot 2005

Zarcillo Pinot Noir 2007

Corbieres Domaine de la Marque 2006

Verdelho 2007 Esporao

Quinta do Crasto Douro 2007

Cotes du Rhone Cuvee Friande Domaine Jaume 2007

In “The Naked Wine Show”, American Blogger Susan Sterling reviews wine in the buff. Her video’s are subtitled “The Sixty Second Screw”. Yes that right folks, this goes beyond satire. And of course she isn’t naked at all.

What you get is a head and shoulders shot of bare flesh and long flowing hair, and plenty of swirling. Ms Sterling would be considered attractive if it wasn’t for the fact that her straight to camera delivery wasn’t so bloody smug. My my, this is a lady who is very pleased with herself.

In this week’s (lack of) titillating video, Ms Sterling displays all the seductive qualities of the late Kathy Staff in full Nora Batty garb.

The mugging to camera as she undoes the “screwcap” on her highly unimaginative choice of wine (Hardy’s Nottage Hill 2006 Shiraz) makes even Nigella Lawson look understated.

Her description of the wine is perfect mediocrity, “Medium Body, Medium Acidity, Medium Tannins.”  Hmmm…. Thanks for the insight Susan.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xOywRDETwU]

“An entrepreneur claims to have invented a machine that turns a cheap bottle of plonk into a vintage-tasting wine in a matter of minutes.
 
Inventor Casey Jones says the £350 gadget uses ultrasound technology to recreate the effects

Even a bottle of paintstripper whisky can taste like an 8-year-aged single malt

 of decades of ageing by colliding alcohol molecules inside the bottle. The Ultrasonic Wine Ager, which looks like an ordinary ice bucket, takes 30 minutes to work and has already been given the thumbs up by an English winemaker. 

Mr Jones, 53, said: “This machine can take your run-of-the-mill £3.99 bottle of plonk and turn it into a finest bottle of vintage tasting like it costs hundreds.”It works on any alcohol that tastes better aged, even a bottle of paintstripper whisky can taste like an 8-year-aged single malt.

“The look and bouquet of the drink is improved and because of the chemical changes, the alcohol is easier to absorb by the kidneys and therefore, hangovers are virtually eliminated.

“I have even tried it with orange juice after I saw a similar device being used in the US. It didn’t just make the juice taste fresher, it made it look brighter too.”

He added: “I see thousands of inventions every year and there are a lot of crazy ones, but in every ton of coal there is a diamond.

“Of all the inventions I deal with, this one has amazed me the most in the effects it has on alcohol.”

Andre Jones, no relation, a winemaker who produces 40,000 bottles-a-year at his family-owned Buzzard Valley Vineyard, near Tamworth, Staffs, said he was impressed by the gadget. He said: “Casey took one of our bottles and brought it back for us to try after it had been in the machine. I was amazed, it had definitely aged.

“Obviously it can’t change the grape variety used, but it does mean a relatively poor variety can be made to taste a lot higher market. I would like to see it used on some of the Mediterranean varieties like a Rioja or a Shiraz. This could definitely have some applications for those restaurants who are buying wine for £10,000 a case.

“Technically I suppose you could buy a good wine at two or three years old and age it so it tastes like a 20-year-old vintage. Wine is at it’s best five or so years after it’s made, so this could help homebrewers taste aged wine more easily.”

However, he warned restaurants and bars against trying to pass off a cheaper bottle of wine as a more expensive one just because it had been through the machine.

“You would have to tell customers it wasn’t quite the real thing,” he said.”

A few words about Wedding wine. My wedding wine to be precise. One of the advantages of holding our reception in Shoreham village hall was not having to worry about corkage (the “c” word that causes greatest offence). I’ve had a few enquiries about the wine so here’s a summary of what was drunk.

The wine was bought from The Wine Society and all (except the Sauternes) were sub £7.

Here’s the selection -

White – D’Arenberg Hermit’s Crab Viognier Marsanne 2006

Given the number of bottles that were leftover (none) I’m ranking this as the most popular wine of the day. D’Arenberg represent the best of Australia, a seemingly boutique winery with international reach and possessing an irreverant and experimental touch that allows them to create great blends like the Hermit Crab

Red -Hayes Ranch Shiraz, 2006

I’m sure this used to be marketed as Syrah but I guess it’s been repositioned for the English market more attuned to the Shiraz label. A full on, powerhouse wine ideal for bbq’s, pasta and … weddings.

Rose – Domaine Houchard, 2006

Everyone loves Rose these days, right? Well no actually. The rise of Rose seems to relate to its comparative cheapness and the easy appeal of the sugary confections of the supermarket shelves (Is Californian Blush still available?). For me though, the Domaine Houchard is a Rose of choice. It’s made by real winemakers in the style of a white wine and although it has upfront fruit, it’s still light and dry enough not to resemble sugar water.

Sweet – Wine Society Exhibition Sauternes 2005

Wow. What a choice. It’s always seemed to me that Champagne is the wrong choice of a wine to be used as a toast. Inspired by a friend who used Port as a wedding toast, I opted for Sauternes to accompany the ritual of the cutting of the cake. Bloody lovely.

If you want to try these wines again then do yourself a favour – join The Wine Society it’s the best large scale merchant out there.

P.S. Don’t ask me about the Champagne – that involved a run to Majestic for the best value Cava-lisitc bubbles I could find!

England vs Croatia on the radio and I find myself opening a bottle of Setanta Cuchulain Shiraz 2004. A pure coincidence that my choice of wine this evening shares the name of the beleaguered Satellite company that has endured sustained criticism from irate armchair fans all day.

The wine is from the Adelaide Hills region of Australia, just 20 minutes from the city. The region is known for producing full bodied and spicy fruit Shiraz, and this wine is true to type. In keeping with the recent trend of Australian Shiraz producers, a touch of Viognier has been added to both soften and add perfume. Matured in new and aged French and American oak for 12 months, the tannins are in perfect balance to create a luxury taste of velvet. Great stuff.

Setanta Winery is a true boutique producer. Founded by an aviator, a nurse and a scientist with no family links or history of winemaking, the vineyard takes it’s name from Irish legend. Setanta was the original name for Cuchulain the Irish mythological hero from Ancient Gaelic literature.  Legend knows him for his terrifying battle frenzy, gaining the name Cuchulain as a child after he killed a fierce guard-dog in self-defence, and offered to take its place until a replacement could be reared. At the age of seventeen he defended Ulster single-handedly against the armies of queen Medb of Connacht. Not a bad effort from the young man.

The Shiraz is worthy of the warriors name it bears. It’s heavy on the alcohol at 14.5% and the suggested food pairings are Roast beef or venison, meaty casseroles or hard, cooked and washed-rind cheeses. Me? I’m having mine with a Chicken Tikka Masala from Sainsburys. Hardly the perfect match but it’s worked for me tonight.

And of what of the other Setanta? Well, it certainly takes something to overhaul Sky as the most despised broadcaster in Britain. The controversy relates to the match highlights not being available on terrestrial telly after the live game. And yet I have some sympathy for them, having exclusive rights to the most overrated football team in history… hang on Theo has just got his hat-trick! We’re gonna win the world cup!